Continuning on with Parental involvement

It is absolutely necessary that you be a parent in raising your child.  It is absolutely necessary that you know where your kids are, who their friends are, what they are doing, how they interact at school.  Sitting down to dinner with the family and discussing the day is a must. The child comes first.  Not your boyfriend or girlfriend, not your drinking buddies, not your crises: the child.  Once you have that child, it is all about the child.  Homework. Talk to your child and really listen to them.  This builds confidence.  Klebold and Harris had their guns in Klebold's garage.  How did his parents not know this?  Because they did not care what they did.  If you have a teenager, you go through that garage daily.  You check their rooms and you check their computers and what websites they are visiting.  You monitor how much time they spend on video games.  You know who their friends are.  You know if they are having trouble with bullies.  You know their teachers.  You know the principal.  You live and breathe that child until they are grown.  It is your job.  You took it when you had the child.  Now do that job.  As for their privacy,  they're teenagers for God's sake.  Of course they will lie. Of course they will try smoking and probably drugs and alcohol.  It is your job to stay on top of this.  It is an exhausting, time consuming, life-stealing job, but you signed on for it.  I had a friend once who was a single mother of 3.  She worked long hours to provide for them.  They had chores they had to do every day.  If they failed to do these chores, she said nothing when she got home.  They had dinner and cleaned up the kitchen, did homework and went to bed.  Even though she had to get up at 5am to go to work, she woke the child who did not do the chores, made that child get out of bed at 1am and do those chores.  She sat with that child until those chores were done.  One son is a lawyer, one is a doctor, and the daughter is a teacher.  She didn't have to do this.  She could have just whined about how hard she had it, but she didn't.  She did her job. 

And yes, I am a mother.  I had visions of doctors and lawyers for my kids too.  Not! But I am very proud of them.  My oldest works with the mentally handicapped.  My middle child is in the military and has been for 15 years.  My baby is a project manager with a Fortune 500 company and married to an Army Sargent.  I did the best I could and I was always a presence in their lives while they were growing up.  Parents need to realize that raising children is a tough, demanding job.  And for our future, it has to be done right.