Pro choice

I have been having an argument with a friend over abortion.  His take is that abortion should not exist..  That it is a black and white issue.  I am pro choice.  I think it is the woman's right to decide for herself if she wants an abortion or to carry the baby.  One of the arguments that I threw out there was that if the pregnancy is a product of rape, then the woman would not want to have that baby and be reminded every minute of every day about her ordeal.  I posed it to my friend this way:  Suppose it was your wife or daughter that was raped and became pregnant.  Could you raise that child as your own?  Could you love it? He says he could.  I then asked how he would handle it if that rapist sued for joint custody and won.  Could he tolerate that rapist who raped his wife or daughter coming to my friend's house to visit his child?  This is where my friend kind of stalled. He would not answer directly.  His reply was that there were laws to keep that from happening.  No, there are only 31 states with laws addressing this very thing.  And it has happened.  My friend became a little unsettled at this scenario.  My take on this is that a man cannot fathom what rape does to a woman.  He cannot fathom that feeling of powerlessness and desperation.  I assured him that I can promise that had this happened to me, I would not have that baby.  I could not.  Nor would I even consider it.  And what about that child when they ask who their father is?  Do you think a child could handle finding out that they were a product of rape and that their father was the rapist?  This is a very complicated road and I think that the woman should have all the support from her family and society for whatever decision she makes.  And until someone has walked in her shoes, that someone cannot possibly know what they would do.  Yes, I am pro choice.  Yes I think a woman should have access to a safe abortion if she needs it.  And I think society should support her on any decision she makes.  I have never been in this position and I hope I never am, but I will support a woman who has in any way I can.  If I need to be her cheerleader, I will be.  Abortion is going to happen whether it is legal or not.  So my friend says if that is the case then what is the problem?  We can make it illegal and no one will suffer. Yes, someone will suffer.  The pregnant woman will suffer and may will die. The difference is that if it is legal, she will have access to safe doctors and clinics.  If it is illegal, then there will be butcher shops and women will die and contrary to the belief of the religious  right, no woman "got herself pregnant"  and that pregnancy should not be used to punish her.