Back to adulting

 Once you get yourself into the adult world and learn to maneuver it, get decent income and health insurance, then it is time to find a kick ass therapist.  A good therapist so you can ditch all the damage done to you by your family.  No matter how well meaning and how great your parents are, they did damage.  Get a good therapist and ditch the childhood baggage because you do have baggage and to live your best life, you have to let it go.  This does not mean cutting off your family unless they are toxic.  But it means affirming your place in the adult world. Affirming that you are your own person, not an extention of anyone else.  Remember, this is not a dress rehearsal.  This is the real deal.  There are no do-overs in life.  You are living it.  So make it the best life you can.  And if you aren't satisfied with the first therapist you try, change.  Don't stick with a therapist who is not helping you.  Don't walk out of that office, RUN. This is about you and your life.  Make it about you and your life.  

Relationships.  Remember, you don't need to be with someone to be happy.  Create your own happiness.  Never rely on anyone else to make you happy.  A partner should enhance your happiness, but is not responsible for it.  As to that happiness, ditch that idea.  You are searching for contentment.  Happiness is fleeting.  Contentment with your life is not fleeting.  And take it from someone who has lived in the eye of the storm, you want calm in your life, not chaos.  You can only ride that high for so long then you crash.  And sometimes that crash takes you lower than you can successfully crawl back from. So  strive for contentment.  And that other person in the relationship needs to be your cheerleader, your safe place, your partner.  If he/she is not all this, ditch them.  Life is too short to allow anyone to drag you down.  Ditch them and walk away.  It is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.  

Children:  If you want them, have them.  If you don't, do not let anyone pressure you into having them.  And be selective who you breed with.  Make sure that person will be a good father/mother.  A child is a huge responsibility.  They are not your property.  They are for you to mold into the best citizen society could wish for.  It is your responsibility to raise that child to be caring, compassionate, shrewd, competent.  That child must be taught critical thinking so they can make good choices.  And never, ever think that getting pregnant for the sake of trapping a man is a good idea.  It isn't.  Wait until you are emotionally and financially prepared for a child.  And if you don't want a partner, that's ok too.  But be sure you are up to the responsibility of raising that child.